He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
