haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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