if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
you never un-have a 4some
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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