Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize