I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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