after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
