The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize