We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
