Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Semen is not good for contacts.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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