Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
