margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
