He is an equal opportunity slut.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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