Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
