Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
id be glad to
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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