I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
