the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
