dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Green mimosas i think yes
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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