So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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