dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
