I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
