There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
