One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
you inspire me to be a worse person
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
