OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It's shark week go big or go home
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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