okay pat passed out under dana's car
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize