Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
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Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
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I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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