my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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