Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just gift wrapped bread.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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