boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
