ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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