he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
