Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
