If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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