Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
