when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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