Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
