Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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