so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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