How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
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