I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
