you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
