I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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