Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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