I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize