Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
