Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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