No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
