She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
