he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize