Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
being pregnant is like rehab
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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