shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
