What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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