i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
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Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
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The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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