Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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