I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Randomize
