We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize